Friends, Family, Familiarity

So I'm filling my final days in Minneapolis with friends, family, and familiar things: I'm spending time with old friends, saying goodbyes, sharing the holidays with family member, and doing a little bored sitting. All fun, minus that last one. Ah well, I've missed being bored--I haven't experienced that in a little while.

My sched:
Tuesday - work, final, friend
Yesterday - friend, friend
Today - friend, friend
Tomorrow - friend, mom's birthday, wedding, friend
Saturday - family tradition (cookies Sat. before Xmas), friend
Sunday - friend, family Christmas with Dad's Mom
Monday (Xmas eve) - family Christmas with Mom
Tuesday (Xmas day) - family Christmas with Mom's Dad, family Christmas with Dad
Wednesday - back up north with my friend

My days as a resident of the city of Minneapolis are done (I've handed in my key at my old place and have been crashing at friends' places all week, and will continue to stay with friends and family until I go back to my new place.

More updates to follow ... I'm out.

At my last day of work at the paper, followed by my final final!

Huh. It all comes down to this.

Our printer at the newspaper bought us Thai today-- it was a very nice treat on my last day. Then, tonight, I have my last final of my undergraduate career. Weird.

This last month has stretched out, and as this blog has demonstrated, I've been thinking a lot about my graduation. I've got a lot going on in my head right now, and I'll post more on it soon. Right now, I'm just going to focus on finishing off my last day of work (its been busy!) and then prepare for my final.

Listening to Lupe

I'm at work at the paper (my second-to-last day) and listening to the new Lupe Fiasco LP, "The Cool" (out tomorrow). I took my Stats final this A.M. ...keep your fingers crossed for me, it was tough! Now all that remains is the completion of my final project, as well as a final presentation, for Graphic Design! Like the continual updates I've been offering? Can you tell I've been counting down to the end? Almost there . . .

Finding work, post-college

I've been applying for jobs for after graduation, and it has been a challenge! I think I may have gotten one, though, and it holds great promise. I'd love to tell you more, but I don't want to jinx anything... you know what "they" say about counting chickens!

Staying busy

With many of my finals finished (just a few left), what else am I doing this week? I am applying to grad school, applying for post-college jobs, getting my new apartment together, and of course preparing for those last few finals. I can't wait for a break in just a couple weeks!

My status on facebook.com

Chris is... advancing the other foot out the door and acknowledging his attachments.

(Subtext: I'm going to miss this place and the people in it.

Subtext of the subtext: Unlike Ben Folds' proclamation, I'm still a sentimental guy.)

Defending my thesis

Today I have to defend my keystone paper to the faculty of the Religion department. After this, I only have a final project and final presentation in Graphic Design, as well as a final exam in Statistics, and then my final semester of college is finished.

Another one bites the dust...

In a half hour I hand in my final SWK paper of my undergrad career. Then, only Graphic Design and Stats, plus the defense of my senior thesis, remain. So... close...

ps. I lied

On second thought...

Oh, but excitement is close. My final draft of my senior keystone paper goes in tonight, leaving just a defense of it to the department, a math final, a couple projects/a presentation/a quiz/a final in my graphic design class (talk about weighting the end of the semester!), a social work paper/presentation and final, a piano performance test, and maybe some papers or graduation paperwork. I'm getting so close I can taste it!

More than bent on getting by...

Yep. Stole that line from a song I liked in middle school. Having a little trip down memory lane.

It was a good weekend and a good day so far today. Had my honors defense, and it went well. I feel great. I'm not bullshitting just to get by, I'm really living, as I want to, as I am. Feels good to be real. Nothing exciting, just even.

Fraternizing with Franken

Tonight I went to a private Al Franken get-together to raise funds and energize his campaign. I talked with him, got an autograph and a photo--it was fun, he was articulate and interested... What can I say? Politically we're essentially a match, and he's got passion to burn. He's got my vote: here's hoping the former SNL writer goes all the way next year, eh?

This weekend

My dad has a U-Haul for this weekend and this weekend only, so my friend and I are moving our big stuff up north on Friday. I have not yet packed a thing, so guess what I'll be doing tomorrow night! Ha.

That is, after I get some well-deserved Chipotle (I came into a gift card. Dare I say karma? Mm, perhaps not. But burrito nonetheless!).

Time to make time

So in the last four days I haven't much slept, and have spent every free moment doing HW. I'll accept that some of that is self-inflicted--perfectionism takes its toll--yet most of it is the forces of the universe coming together in agreement that I be the busiest I've ever been right now. Don't think I did too well on this morning's test, two of my classes aren't going as well as I'd like, and I spend every waking moment in the library. I haven't had any down time (whatever happened to the senior slump, slack or slide?!), so I'm going to make time for it tonight by getting take-out Thai and catching up with an old friend. I can't wait!

Sure, I've got several presentations tomorrow that need to be prepared for, an entire life to pack up (see next entry), and ongoing projects, but I need to relax a bit. I've run myself into the ground and am feeling the strain-- I haven't been feeling so hot (health-wise; worry not, the looks department is still as stunning as ever - note the ambiguity in that phrasing) because I've been running myself into the ground, so I need this break. Tomorrow will come, and I'll get done what I need to. Anyway- I'm at work, so I should get back to it.

Countdown

I graduate in less than a month... What am I going to DO with my life? Who knows, who cares. One day at a time, eh?

Increasing my pace and eyeing the finish line.

I've been in the library since early this A.M. Tomorrow will be the same (but with two classes).

This week, and likely the next, will be extremely busy. Oh, hell, from here until the semester's end I am going to be without much in terms of reprieve.

That is okay, I guess, even if it isn't much fun. I just need to do it.

Happy T-Day!

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

My plans, you ask?

Thurs: Thanksgiving dinner with family during the day, Thanksgiving dinner with friends in the evening
Fri: Doctor appointment during the day, Thanksgiving dinner with family in the evening.
Sat: Thanksgiving dinner with family during the day, Timberwolves game with family in the evening.

Holy family overload. Here goes...

Best. concert. ever.

My hearing is still shot, as is my voice, but that was the most high-energy concert ever. Openers The Cool Kids were smashing, but M.I.A. took the cake, ate it, and baked another. Damn.

M.I.A., here I "aja"!

M.I.A. tonight-- can't wait! Ah!

A weekend of music...

Last night I saw Haley Bonar perform on campus... she was incredible! Please check her out if you can.

Today I've been writing a paper all day and am going to the MN Opera tonight to cover it for the Augsburg Echo.

And... coming next week... M.I.A. at First Avenue! Can't wait!

Jane Fonda speaks while I’m on the beat (and the street!)

Actress Jane Fonda spoke at Augsburg this morning as a part of our convocation series, but I was busy test-driving an electric car and interviewing the President of Cushman Motors for my job as a journalist. Sorry, Jane!

Settled, soon to be settled in!

My friend and I went apartment hunting this weekend and found the place we'd been looking for. We're putting down the security deposit this week. It is incredibly affordable and quite charming.

Exciting!

Post-college classes

So I've decided to take a couple classes after graduating this December solely for the sake of furthering my own education. I'm all signed up to take a World Religions and a Philosophy class at a state university this spring. I'm excited to continue my education even after graduating.

4g (follow up)

Here is a picture, as promised. It is kind of fuzzy and looks a little smaller than it actually is, but it is a close representation.

Money is no friend of mine!

Grizzly Bear's new EP, "Friend," is out today. Wish I had the $ for it.

Let it snow (x3)

I'm stuck in the great white north! Car troubles have trapped me in the northern half of the state, but I'm enjoying myself. I'm doing research, running errands (on foot), and enjoying the snow (ACK! SNOW!). I've e-mailed my professors explaining the situation and sending them electronic copies of assignments I have due, and they've all been incredibly understanding and have allowed me to reschedule things as needed. Now... I need to get back to business!

No more opera for me, thank you.

I just spent two days listening to opera singers compete. Now I'm eating a much deserved Big Mac combo with apple pie!

Happy Halloween!

I wrapped myself in tinfoil and got free Chipotle today. Can't complain.

Remembering Katherine Ann Olson

Last night I found out that a dear friend of mine from high school's sister was killed this weekend. Some of our mutual friends and I are going to her visitation tomorrow.

There is still a lot that is not being released to the public, but here is some cursory information:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21516220/

4g

Last night I went to a 4 gauge in my ears, and with that I am done stretching! It hurt, but I really like the way it looks. I'll post some pictures soon.

Fun weekend

This weekend my little brother was in town from Moorhead (where he goes to school), so we hung out and had a great time. I went to a friend's voice recital on Saturday and out for East African food after. I of course also did a bit of studying, but all in all it was a fantastic escape after a terrible week last week. I'm feeling refreshed and improved!

doctor appointments san ointments

I went to the doctor to get my body checked out. I've been running pretty frequently, and as a result my body has been falling apart-- hips popping out, knees cracking, back and feet sore. There is a name and condition for everything these days... needless to say, I left the doctor with names for about five different conditions. The important thing is that I'm going to the physical therapist next week to begin repairing all this.

The last week of my life,

has been a big blurred haze
sleepless nights and long-drawn days


just kidding
I'm not writing
poetry tonight.

Two posts ago was unnecessarily dramatic. I'm usually better about guarding my downs on here.

This semester has taken so much out of me. Perhaps I should've slowed my course and spent more time here. Oh well. I feel it is the right time to leave.

I'm formulating my plans for after I'm finished here, and getting excited.

I've spent almost the entire last week in front of a computer screen, in a classroom, or reading a book. My social life consisted exclusively of going out Thursday night, and time with friends on Saturday. Otherwise, I've been working, studying, practicing, running, or in class.

I can't wait to have a (social) life this spring.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Sorry, I haven't updated this in a week. It's been a long, long, long week.

I'm most definitely in the throes of a mid-semester slump.

I'll update you on the happenings of the last week shortly, I give my word.

On a more positive note...

I am endlessly fascinated by the topic I've chosen for my senior seminar in Religion! I can't wait to get this together. I've been finding and reading sources for it for hours each day.

God, that sounds lame, but here's the catch: it isn't!

Mid-Sem Slump Realized, Ambiguity

This week just started, and I already wish it was over. I'm tired and sad. It's mostly my fault -- I take on far too much. I should know better by now. Also, I am partially responsible for my emotional state. But it is somewhat the fault of another, too. Ill considered?

Last week was fun. This week is not. The give and take of existence.

I'm beginning to think I am no longer starry-eyed. Am I learning that old adage about a cat and the nature of curiosity?

Yesterday I was leaving leaves, carrying Carhartt and cologne. Now I am scoring scones and rolling stones, working out my own salvation.

It was cold today at 4am.

6g

I realized I hadn't updated y'all on the status of my earlobe-stretching process for a while.

As of last night, I'm at a size 6 gauge. While most of the other steps hadn't really hurt, last night did, but only for about 30mins. I'm nervous for the next step, though, because it is an even more significant jump!

For now, I am only planning to go to a 4g. This is pretty sizable, but not huge. I'll show you a picture when I get there, or perhaps a few taken along with way so that you can see my progress.

Another Day, Another Dollar?

Well, it is another day at work at the newspaper, and I am currently uploading news stories to our website. This afternoon I have an assignment, so I need to go to a site to write about it, then interview the organization's director. I have a momentary lull as the website is being updated... oh, it's ready to go, so I must do the same!

Ughhhhhh

These days are SO long! I swear I will never finish everything I need to.

Oh well. I'm in good spirits anyway.

"The Comforts of Home"

My mom invited me over yesterday for a Sunday dinner with the family. It was very nice to see my family, and comforting to go to a familiar space (even if they did move, it still has a lot of the same furniture and such). It's funny--I've always considered myself to be quite independent, but I still recognize how nice it is to go home and be surrounded by the people who love me.

Go figure. I suppose it'll always be this way.

Echo

The second issue for this semester of "The Echo," Augsburg's student-produced newspaper, came out today. I had a news story on the front page, an opinion piece, and I wrote the feature "Around the Quad," which asks the opinions of several students on a topic relevant to Augsburg. For next week I have a couple editorials and two feature stories. I also edit the A&E section.

I'm all over this paper, man.

BUSY!

This has been THE busiest week of my life. What more can I say?

On or Off: The Follow-Up

So, a long time ago, when I first began this blog, I wrote a post pondering a move off campus:

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Well, I moved off campus at the end of last school year, and I can still see the positives and negatives to both scenarios. Living off campus is great: I get to bike, I feel more independent, I choose my own location, I learn to transition out of Augsburg. Yet I often miss the convenience of being able to quickly run back to my room if I forgot something, of being able to take a nap, run or shower when I have an hour of down time, or other such things. So, I guess I still don't have an answer, but I'm glad I've gotten both experiences.

So sleepy.

I'm exhausted. I had an amazing weekend, but of course I've been made to suffer the consequences for such irresponsibility (hold up: since when is tending to the self and relationships with others irresponsible?!). This has been the busiest day in recent memory, and tomorrow promises much more of the same. In fact, the rest of this week is shaping up just so. I will keep my head above water, I will!

I'm crashing. Good night.

The Guy with the Red Hightops

Walking through the neighborhood near work today, I was stopped by a man asking for change. I did not have any on me, but I stopped and talked to him for a while. We talked about music (he likes U2 and Elvis Costello), among other things. At our conversation's end, he admitted that he'd seen me around the neighborhood before. He identified me by my bright red converse hightop shoes. That conversation was my day's highlight.

Sing-a-long

I'm doing so well. Yeah, I've taken a few steps backward, but that is how it always goes, no? Cliches (needs an accent) exist for a reason--they have a historical-social tradition of truth. I'd say the one about "two steps forward, one step back" holds a great deal of truth in it, for me anyway.

And yet...

My mom used to love the song from one of those stop motion kiddie Christmas flicks... was it the one about the Abominable Snowman? No, I think it was "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Ah well. The song is what matters. I'm sure you've heard it. Or perhaps I'm just influenced by its significance in my own life in my thought that it is well known. And it goes a little something like this: "put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin' cross the floor. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin' out the door!"

You know what? I think I like that one better. Optimism prevails.

Sure, I've gotten a little turned around, a time or two... but all in all, I'm headed toward that door.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CSSuGYVRDLk
(ps. I am not one of those people. ha.)

impermanence in the evening

life and death is the great matter.
impermanence is swift.
strive to awaken to this matter wholeheartedly.
do not waste time!

zen evening gatha (short chant)

4/5

Why hasn't anyone pointed out that my blog titles get so ridiculously cheesy? That last one, although the rhymes and wordplays are intended to be tongue-in-cheek, was egregiously cringe-worthy.

Anyway. It's Thursday. Which means tomorrow is Friday! Ah (note that one more "h" would've made an "ahh" of relaxation, where as "ah" as it stands is simply a vocal inflection), my weeks are so busy! I have stuff basically from 9am-9pm every day. Living off campus and bike commuting, that means quite the early wake up time! And I have trouble going to sleep before 2am these days, so... I'm tired. But all in all the week has improved as it has gone on, and I feel pretty fine right now.

I take it back. Anytime I make a statement like that, it comes back to bite me in the butt. So, I am how I am. No expectations, no labels, no claims.

One claim I am comfortable making, however, is that of hunger. And there is a picnic coming up (cloudy skies, stay tied!) in a few minutes here (after which I have meetings and homework galore!) for the Social Work department, so I'm off.

What a Sight! An Urbanite by Night, Seeing the Light

I just got in on my bike. I'm glad to have it back after it's stint in broken-bicycle village last week. Riding through the city at night is thrilling; with little to no traffic to inhibit the flow of my ride, it emanates emptiness (in the philosophical sense). The hollow city blocks and darkened buildings construct a ghost town on a grander scale. Only the night crawlers remain.

Through this I pedal, with swiftness and silence.

Pedal, pedal, pedal.. I keep moving forward. I'm learning so much outside the classroom these days, I'd say my course load is bigger than ever. What a kick, learning the life lessons I missed through much of college at the very last minute. I guess I've always been a procrastinator. After years of pedaling on a stationary bike, exasperating myself while getting nowhere, I'm freeing myself of the self-inflicted training wheels that have long kept me from really balancing on my own. Oh, tired metaphor! I'm working to rise above my limitations, which results in a great deal of temporary floundering below. But in this I'm finally extending my consciousness, understanding why I do the things I do. Realizing my neuroses is hard work and actualizing positives proactively is even tougher, but every pedal gets me a little closer to home.

I had much more to say, but sleepiness is having it's way. The moral: I'm in good spirits after a therapeutic cycle, and optimistic about the direction I'm headed (metaphorically speaking, although my bicycle is usually headed in a fine direction as well). Ask me again tomorrow and I may have a different tale to tell, but this is where I'm at right now and, well... I'm just glad to be here.

Up, down, up, down... aye aye aye!

I've been doing a lot of "self" work, and it has resulted in a range of emotions. One minute I am on top of the world, feeling enthralled with my progress and excited for the future. Other times that satisfaction manifests in the serene and I am wholly in the moment (this, perhaps, is the ideal state). And other times (all too often for my tastes, I'm afraid) I become so frustrated at what I see as a lack of progress and feel a bit helpless that I splinter. Ultimately, though, I'm moving forward, even if it is two steps ahead, one step backward... or a sprint followed by an enormous faceplant into the mud... or, perhaps, a stumble followed by a humble stride. In any case, I'm doing it. Trying is doing. And best of all, I see a horizon, something to keep rising for.

Exploding Baby Carrots

This weekend was fantastic. I traveled to the upper half of the state, to a cabin northwest of Two Harbors (along the Lake Superior shore). I went with five friends. It was a wonderful reprieve-- we played games around a campfire and blew up baby carrots with sticks of mini dynamite.

The week leading up to this escape was incredibly full; I had very little downtime and will probably pay the price for not doing (much) homework all weekend, but I wouldn't even consider pressing rewind.

Isn't this the first weekend of the new semester?

This has not been the most fun weekend of recent memory. The stereotype is such that I almost expected this weekend to be one big party. Instead I dogsat, alone, on Friday night (technically I chose to do it alone instead of bringing friends in on it, but still), hung out with friends for a bit on Friday afternoon and Saturday night (including a couple party stops)... but otherwise I have mostly sat around, making poor use of my time. I've accomplished nothing. I have books I wanted to read; why haven't I read them? I've been sick, but that isn't much of an excuse. Isn't it funny how feeling sorry for yourself presents you from improving the situation? Ah well.

In brighter news, my new job at The Bridge is a REAL job. I suppose it is about time I got one of those, seeing as I'm just months away from the "real world". In any case, I have my own office, phone number, e-mail address, and already three story assignments!

This week will be busy. Maybe I should've been better about enjoying my downtime while I have it.

Senior Slump? Naw.

Well, it is the beginning of another semester.

This semester has an unusual flavor, though. It is my last. Wow.

How did I come to this point so quickly? Twice today I was told how much older I look by people who have "tracked" me over the course of my time at Augsburg. One said I look like a senior in college. Huh.

The semester has gotten off to an especially full start-- I was delayed in my time in the northern half of the state because the ride I had arranged was significantly delayed; I've been fighting off a killer cold; I had some issues with rent at my apartment; a friend is staying with me and is having major car problems; all that I missed while out of town must now be made up for; my leadership roles are requiring a lot of me; and my classes (so far-- granted, I've only had two as of yet) are challenging. I think I'll manage to pull it off, but we'll see.

I start my new job in a half hour. That's pretty exciting. Guess I'd better head out.

It's good to be back.

ahh--

I'm in the wilderness again for one final hurrah before my last semester begins. camping, four-wheeling, exploring, reading, eating, running, sitting, relaxing. what a week.

seminary

so I decided (for the fifth or so time) a while back that I'm going to seminary. not ordination track; just master's program.

just thought I'd share.

last weekend

Last weekend consisted of... sleeping in my car in a Walmart parking lot far from Minneapolis, practicing zazen in a traditional buddhist monastery in the bluffs of Iowa, and just remembering who I once was.

Man. This is the stuff the college-aged years are made of.

old school

my best friend from h.s. is in town for the week. we're having an absolute blast.

it's been a good week, all in all. more on that later.

zoo tomorrow

I'm going to como zoo tomorrow (well, today) with friends.

Should be a fun couple weeks here, I hope.

We'll see; it begins, tomorrow.

Submitted!

I just turned in my working draft of my summer research paper on Flannery O'Connor. 65+ pages of work (aside from what all was cut, of course). That was my summer. Wow.

I feel good.

(no subject)

This week has gone poorly.

"It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say..."

On 'nother note entirely...

Random thoughts...

The jaded cynic in me appeals to this quote by a bitter and brilliant author, Flannery O'Connor: "To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life and this is a softness that ends in bitterness." While I once felt that this was a reality to which I must submit as one submits to "the will of God," I now know that I must resist this inclination born in world-weariness. My innocence, the side of me that marvels at all that has been, all that is present, and all that is to come (that is, my true self), knows this quote by Kosho Uchiyama to be a fuller truth: "Everything I encounter is my life." As simple as that may sound, I won't claim to understand the concept and what it means for my life, though it encompasses everything. I, like those I encounter, am just learning as I go. As I've said before, I don't have delusions of grandeur--I'm just a dude. Now; was that pretentious enough?

And no, I'm not turning Buddhist on y'all. Though, never say never, eh?

Light at the end of the tunnel-

Oh man. Less than 50 hours of research left. And at the pace I'm going this week, I will be near complete by the end of the week (with the hours I need to log, that is. The paper will be going all semester long).

On another note, I'm working Medieval Minnesota camp as a counselor. It's a blast and a half. I won't claim to know the first thing about Medieval history, but I'm learning along with the campers.

Back to the real world. Wait, not yet-

Okay. Last week was unreal and unusual for a number of reasons.

1) Some stuff happened in my family that shook me up quite a bit.

2) I house/dogsat for my aunt, which was a change of scenery and such.

3) A friend was in town.

4) As most of the world now knows, the 35W bridge collapsed, which hit close to home (literally) for a number of reasons. I frequent the bridge often enough, as I live a block from it on one side of the river and attend classes and work right on the other side. I was there when it happened, and I was understandably shocked.

5) Two of my best friends returned from a summer in Europe, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

6) I'm reading up on buddhism more, which, while interesting, has yet to convince me of its applicability in my life. Still, it has thrown my theological mind for a loop or two.

7) Some other things came up that needed addressing. (In other words, things happened that I am choosing not to discuss in the public forum.)

In all this, I was mostly unable to research. Now I am working for a camp this week and will be unable to research as much as I'd like, again. So, certain things will have to wait one more week. The campers are playing board games as I participate in metaphorical, mental games of my own in order to process the happenings of last week. Is that blog-entry-real enough?

Updaytes

Two of my bet friends just returned from a summer in Europe!

I'm hanging out with a good friend of mine (while at work)!

And some... stuff is going on with my family. But... things will be okay. I'm going home to be with them soon.

Okay- that's 'nuff. Back to work.

when it rains, it pours

four diff. in two weeks?

guess certain 'types about college are true. huh.

postscript

why hasn't that sugar kicked in yet?!?

ha. I'm not losing my mind, I swear.

Yet.

Uhhh

I was in the library yesterday from 9am-9pm.

Today is another such day.

Oh, yeah--so is tomorrow.

And Friday's kind of looking like that, too.

It's a soda-at-breakfast kind of week.

Well, that's what I get for being such a slow researcher, ha.

No longer Bemidji-bound, still somewhat bound, burnt out but upward bound.

Wow. What a weekend. Staggering. My mind has since been a place of great churning. I had so much fun, but its after effects are going to be long-lasting. I'm always caught off guard by the events of my life. Someone shared a quote with me that has offered a great amount of resonance, though:

"Everything I encounter is my life." -Kosho Uchiyama

Is it just me, or is that quote an absolute mindf-ck? A total truth, a revelation.

This weekend was my life. What occured this weekend was my life. The implications of my actions this weekend are my life. This blog entry is my life. Everything I encounter is my life. I can't exactly explain what I mean or why this is so profound for me, but it is.

I'm kind of weary of the pace of the city. I'm already missing the intimate slowness of things.

My head is still spinning. There is something strongly resembling a knot residing in my stomach. It feels almost unshakable. I think I need to further my understanding about some things. Maybe I can learn to undo all the ties that bind by loosening this one.

I'm going on vacation... to Bemidji?!

Roadtrip to Bemidji commences... tomorrow! I can't wait!

I'll be back Sunday, so it isn't especially long, but I'm stoked. I'm going to visit one of my closest friends... 5+ hours in a manual transmission with no cruise control should be a real blast, but it will be entirely worth it.

See you when I get back!

long day

moments until my head hits the pillow. I haven't had a good night's sleep in so long. I can't wait.

wait.

what am I updating this thing for?! goodnight!

d'oh! food poison'd!

Well, I had a great weekend that even somewhat carried through into yesterday with fun all around. But then yesterday evening my body became overtaken by food poisoning! Suffice to say it was not a fun night, and today really hasn't been any better. Today I've been researching since 830am and plan to continue to do so until at least 9pm because I am going out of town Thursday night for the weekend and don't imagine I'll get much research done while gone. So I need to get back to this research because I have SO MUCH TO DO before I can leave.

woop, there it is.

Oh, ironic blog titles?

I'm researching my butt off this week, as well as having a bunch of fun. I was supposed to go to Bemidji today but it ended up working out best all around for me to go next weekend, so that is the plan. I was really looking forward to it, so I guess you could say I still am, ha.

I'm in a great mood, despite another bike accident this morning. As before, it was not my fault, and I am fine.

Anyway- just another little update; back to those books.

what, me worry? I never do.

good, gooooooood last few days. must say, in a stellar mood. as I said, took the kid bro to the amusement park, been hanging out with friends, had some fun times, (haven't slept much), and researching my bum off. as with last time, gotta get back to it-

independence day, pt. 3

So I had a fantastic independence day. My family celebrates at my Grandpa's every year, and as always it was a blast. For the second year in a row I made it to the finals of the beanbag tournament (it is more intense than it sounds, ha).

All in all it has been a pretty damn good week. I said goodbye to my childhood home because my family is moving, took my kid brother to the amusement park, hung out with good friends, and so on. I'm in a good place, though research is so much harder than I ever would have thought. Speaking of which... time to get back to that.

independence day, pt.2

...contd.

At return I entered the house prompt and got a memory. Its always some trouble or another. Some haunts don’t leave as immediately as we might like.

Times been hard sometime
In my day I drank quite a bit
That came to pass
but other vice replace it

I’ve eaten and not
for comfort and control
and I done other things
that taken a toll
on me,
I’ve been down a time or three
And religion is complex

Wandered off path
Projected changed image for love
Actions rested on those of each new idol
And identity changed with each new beau
Flexible is good, but fluid—no

Taken things out on others often
Did not intend to but excuses lag
and intention alone cannot justify when
Those I love serve as punching bags

Don’t do what I want
Motivated by desire for company
Don’t want to end up sittin’ just me...

[Name removed]: Easy evocative fear, but we won’t die alone dear. Friend—when we do end, the pumping of heart comes to close and concludes, and churning organs stop operation and synapses cease to fire, and we are alone, this is—fine (poetry this isn’t) or okay or perhaps even as it should be, but before that time our lives will be rich with relationship or six and that is good. Don’t flex for false—I like you unchanged.

When I think on it-
oh shit.
Summer is slipping so quickly away
Eroding with the passing of each day
Bye bye, oh going so hurriedly by
I’m afraid it will come to rapid end
And I will have spent all time with only one friend
Nebulous invisible lines crossed after 11pm
Contained in the very same walls
Distance once too far now too small
And now it is over, this whole half-summer now gone
With nothing to show but a curveball and bruised arm
Injure and such, all harm and alarm
(I don’t blame ‘m
it takes two to tango—us, me
and certain I’m no innocent party)

But still, in all this I find
—oh yeah—a return of me
and this, I guess—I know—I don’t mind.

independence day, pt.1

[Name removed] left early, she wasn’t feeling in top form. Early at 930pm, it being a—the—National holiday. My family was still elsewhere, updating their new dwelling place (calling things other beside their traditional name—ie ‘dwelling place’ over ‘house’—does not good writing make), or watching fireworks from a more advantageous viewing point than our soon to be forfeited house in the ‘valley’ (I add that punctuation because really it is a downward slope into a marsh). So alone, sitting, I felt moved to move, and stepped outside, feet uncovered. The cold front brought temperate temperature, relief from the day’s earlier blaze, and enough light was present to ensure I didn’t stumble on unlit suburban street. I began to wander, following noise that surrounded sound upon sound. The bursting of blasts like artillery or heartbeats, explosives; but no light to attribute it to, the treeline obstructing patriotic spectacle. Suddenly song slipped out my lips, and a good one at that. One the earth had not yet heard and is unlikely to hear again. I wandered further but still no colors could I see, only pop-pop-pop and me. Light decreasing, out of the haze is a creature wild, a deer. Furry god, easily spooked and startled. The night previous I pulled into the driveway and almost hit another, or maybe the same—even this in the suburbs. We connected, this hunted (perhaps not here, but it feels it in genetic code from historical shared experience) and I (there might have been another or it was shadowy deceit). Then I turned around and walked home and did not cry.

oops

I stopped updating this because I worked a week-long summer camp last week and then went home to help my family move and forgot all about this dear blog. Sorry! I will make up with it with above-caliber posts this week (well- no promises, only try).

"Hump Day"

I don't like the term "hump day"
but hey-
it's hump day.

Name Recognition

Yesterday my name was a fixture in the blogosphere.http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

Okay, not exactly. But allow me to explain.

1) Iconia

Iconia is a blog on religion and art, and every day they have a "daily roundup" of arts and religion on the web. They include highlights from reputable newspapers from around the world such as The Statesman, The Sydney Morning Herald, The Independent... and my URGO research blog?!

I guess so, because in yesterday's daily roundup post they featured the following selection from on my blog:

"The notion of a 'religious' artist bears many connotations that are immediately off-putting for many … I’ve found that I have often been forced to explain away their religiosity and defend them in light of these deep criticisms against religious art, especially in our contemporary context that forces a conservative reading of most texts."

I wonder how they came across my blog, but I'm very excited that it is being read! It makes sense that people are reading it, but I guess I just forget that sometimes.

While it is great to recognized in academia, something even more exciting occurred yesterday that appealed to a more base level interest of mine: music.

2) Pitchfork

Check it out: I was namechecked in a Pitchfork article after giving them a news tip (even if they did misspell my last name). For those who don't know- Pitchfork is the ultimate authority on all matters of music that matters (ie what is often termed "indie" versus "popular music").

Let me give you the inside scoop--over the weekend I came across a purported press release regarding a new song by my favorite singer, Sufjan Stevens, on a Purevolume page (screen capture of the page with the now-removed song and press release). I sent the link to Pitchfork after doing some research of my own and finding an interview with The Guardian that seemed to potentially affirm the validity of this release. The head news editor and I exchanged e-mails and they checked with the label and soon all involved realized it was a big joke. Check out the news article for more information.

In any case, I'm happy about this for a number of reasons. 1) I suddenly find myself an authority to the news website that has always been my authority when it comes to good new music (I find out about most of my new favorite bands through their website), and 2) I'm not just an authority to the site, I'm an authority on my favorite recording artist.

Okay, so this is all a bit nerdy/fanboy-esque, but it is exciting to me anyway. Stevens is much more than a singer to me because I find his work to be more than just good music- its relevant, engaging, immensly intelligent and important, and it is art, not a contrived formula to make money.

Anyway.

The news editor hinted in an e-mail to me that this could lead to a writing gig with them, but that might be dreaming a little too big. Still, as 'they' say: dare to dream, eh?

Oh, Weekend

I had an alright weekend- did some research, went to the beach(!), spent a little time with family and friends... all in all, not a total wash, eh?

My research is moving along (I've been doing it all weekend), and my life is fine. Nothing terribly exciting to report in this moment, but hopefully soon that will change.

wowee

Whew- it has been a busy week of research.

I don't know what else to say. I'll update more on my research in my next post.

What's Another Day?

For starters- The National was incredible.

Second- I had a pretty fun weekend.

Today has been fine, too. I ran in the morning and have been researching all day in the Augsburg library.

My research is chugging along. Check out my research blog a couple posts down to check it out for yourself.

I'm feeling very even-keel, all things considered.

Tonight: "The National" in the Neighborhood!

Right now I'm at home doing my independent study and helping my family with the move. They're moving, and today's the garage sale. I'm heading back to Minneapolis tonight, though, because I'm going to a concert just blocks from Augsburg's campus at the 400 Bar. One of the my favorite bands, The National, is playing with another great group, Shapes & Sizes, opening up. I'm really excited, and am reminded again of Augsburg's great location in the city-- just blocks to this great gig!

The Enduring Chill

I'm working on setting up a blog to track the progress of my summer research. You too can follow along at The Enduring Chill!

101

This is post no. 101. I just thought that was worth acknowledging.

Mostly moved in!

I've been moving into my new place all weekend- I painted the walls (woah, orange) and moved a lot of my stuff in. Its been a lot of work but it looks amazing so far. I'll try to post some pictures soon if I can. I still need to get my bed, but then everything will finally be in place.

Right now, I'm home for my brother's graduation open house- I should go help set up.

zzzPenchant

Yawn. I am so tired. I'm exhausted! It is not even 9am and I've already been up at least 2hrs (after having slept at most 5hrs). I ate breakfast and biked the 30min distance from my friends' house (I've been staying there this week until my place is ready to move into-- THANK YOU!) to work here at Augsburg, and now here I am struggling to keep my lids lifted as I do data entry. C'mon, Chris: just one more day!

Today, besides working all day, I have my first meeting for my summer research! I'm stoked to find out some more of the details about this. Also- can't beat free lunch. I'll keep you posted.

So this weekend is quite an exciting one- it signals the beginning of my independent study/research grant, the end of these weeks of long long work days, I move into my new place TOMORROW, and my little brother's graduation open house is on Sunday. A lot to be happy about- now lets just get today done with so that the weekend can get going!

Memorial Day

Well- that was unexpected (based on the tone of my last entry, anyway).

This was a great weekend. I worked a bit, but mostly I spent time with friends and dealt with/worked to resolve some things that needed to be dealt with. Parts of it were really hard, but it was one of the most rewarding weekends on record. I'm not about to make any big predictions for the future or any proclamations about anything, but I'm feeling relatively confident about the state of things. And, if nothing more, I learned a great deal about myself.

Today is Memorial Day. I'm working a short shift right now at my job after a fun afternoon with my family. After work, I may go bike along the river road (it is incredible outside), after which I will do some clean up and other jobs that need doing. All in all I feel fine, and am pretty excited for the week ahead (for reasons I'll detail in another entry). Happy holiday, all!

Sleeeepy

Well, my work week is nearly over (excepting tomorrow's 9am-1pm short shift). I feel like I should do something fun tonight, but right now I'm just really tired.

Maybe tomorrow night. Sometime this weekend, anyway.

For now, I've got a little more work ahead of me, after which I will go run and take care of a scattered responsibility or two. Then? Several friends I know are doing different things tonight, so I'm sure I'll find something to do if I want to. Or maybe I'll just go to sleep.

Ah, the excitement of summer...

All Wet

I made my self-righteous bed and now I must lay in it. Well- bike in it.

This morning, I stepped out my door into still another day of pouring rain. To my left: a car, offering protection from the precip. To my right: my bicycle, representing the idealistic lifestyle of a bicycle commuter.

As I pondered my options, I reflected on recent history. It has rained steadily for a number of days, and still I have continued to use my bike as transportation. When will I "wise up" and remember that every day I have been underdressed and wound up soaking wet as I bike to and fro. Would today be the day to cave and rely on my manual transmission? I was feeling pretty ill (I had eaten red meat--among other things--the night previous) and the idea of driving sounded immensly appealing.

But I refused-- many people live without cars. right? I could do this.

Well, those people also have raincoats, ponchos, waterproof bags, and other such protective gear. Two blocks into my ride I almost turned around, but I persevered instead. I arrived at work soaking wet, but accomplished (though admittedly feeling a bit foolish). What did I learn? Nothing. There was no moral (after all, not everything has meaning- the mundane often overpopulates the meaningful); I don't feel better about myself on some self-righteous kick for biking in spite of the weather, nor do I feel I should have been practical and saved myself the trouble of drying my pants in front of a fan at work (don't worry- I had extra shorts in my bag).

And there you have it- my totally pointless story for the day.

Mhm.

Fine weekend, good day- what more can I say?

One highlight: After work on Saturday, I hopped on my bike and just took off into the city. Following the Mississippi south, I ended up in St. Paul, then crossed back over the Mississippi/Minnesota rivers several times and ended up in Eagan. Finally, after crossing over one final sidewalk on a long bridge alongside rushing cars, I ended up at the Mall of America of all places! I managed to find what I imagine is the mall's only bike rack and parked my trusty transport and headed in. Fate would have it that my timing was perfect- a friend got off work at the mall just as I arrived. We spent the rest of the evening together, eventually meeting up with another friend.

Ok- so there is your random story from my weekend. I'm off- back to work! Another day, another dollar, eh?

I am not defined by material things, but-

I love my... New. MacBook. Yep, that was the purchase- I now have a brand new black MacBook! I'm using it even as I type... It is so wonderful. My good friend works at the Apple store so he hooked me up with a very good deal. I've been saving for a laptop for such a long time and the day has finally come. The convenience will be indispensable as I begin my independent study this summer. I've already fallen for it, and can't wait to continue to get to know it better, ha.


(At my job the other day, taken with the Photobooth feature. Despite how that sounds, I was working hard- I swear! Oh wait... I'm at that job right now, heh)

Summ-err

I started this blog on Monday, but was interrupted. Here is what I had: "So- my summer got off to a rocky start in many regards, but I'm feeling better now. I was a bit thrown off by a lot happening at once, but I feel a lot more balanced now. Today was really great, for many reasons."

Well, since the time, something shook that up a bit. I can say with certainty that it has been a week of highs and lows. I won't explicate certain events any further because of the public nature of this blog; I will only say something happened that significantly affected me.

But, outside of my long-long-long work days, I've spent time with friends and have had an otherwise stellar couple days. I really do have great friends- another one of my closest left today to go home for the summer, but I'm excited by the promise of a fun summer with a lot of my friends. And yesterday I made the largest single-item purchase I've ever made in my life--something I've been saving up for, so that is exciting as well. To find out what it is, however, you will have to wait until my next entry! So... yeah. Material things can be a positive, I suppose.

I guess the two emotions (fun-happy summer, big bummer) balanced one another out and I'm mostly feeling neutral, with the beautiful weather and a forced sense of optimism tipping my mood in the positive favor most of the time.

New Look

I just changed around the colors, the picture, and the structure of my blog, as well as added content to my profile. Check it out!

Skip the freeway; take the greenway...

I biked the Midtown Greenway this past Saturday for what I am ashamed to admit was my very first time. I've passed it by many times and always wanted to check it out but hadn't for lack of time/need to head to Uptown. Well- Saturday I had time and need, so the opportunity presented itself and I greedily grabbed it.

For those who don't know- the greenway is like a highway for cyclists, a mostly uninterrupted bike trail with exits (on/offramps like freeways). I got from Minnehaha Ave. (right near Augsburg) to Uptown in no time flat (even though it started pouring, drenching me and my friend's bike in the process). I was immediately enamored and plan to make it a regular part of my transportive thoroughfares! And now that I am officially a 'bicycle commuter,' all the better that I finally introduced myself to this.

ps. Its 9:42am on Friday... is it the weekend yet?! Oh wait- I work all day, and then again tomorrow morning. Sigh. But then... not again until Monday morning!

Moving (on)

Tuesday night I moved from my dorm to a house in Dinkytown with friends. I spent all night packing and moving, and got about an hour of sleep. I'm excited to get settled, although I have to wait a couple weeks as the former occupant transitions out. Soon enough, though, I will paint my room, get a new desk, and set everything up- certainly something to look forward to. Yesterday I went home for a doctor's appointment, after which I recovered from the hectic move by spending time with the family, doing some laundry and of course catching up on sleep. It was a nice day off, but now I'm back in the grind- been working since 8 with hours ahead of me still. Ah well.

On a more positive note: summer has finally arrived, weather-wise! Even though I'm stuck indoors all day, my brief moments outside have been wonderful. I also got to do a Campus Kitchen volunteer shift over lunch and began my exciting life as a bicycle commuter (ha), biking from my house in Dinkytown to work (more on biking in my next entry, as promised). Yes, it is the small wonders that keep me level.

Looking beneath the floorboards...

It has been an interesting span of days. Last week I clocked more hours on the job than I had in ages, and by Thursday night I was feeling the strain. I had a bad night, but it ended up being a catalyst for some good self-reflection. I didn't see it coming, but I should've anticipated I'd crash sometime after the semester ended, especially considering I didn't even pause between classes ending and (over) full-time work.

I took a "mental health day" off on Friday and caught up on my reading and napping (I did only sleep three hours Thursday). I also watched Jesus Camp -probably not the greatest idea on a day of mental rest, for it stirred great mental unrest among my friends and I, ha. Friday night was a friend's going-away party- he is leaving for Europe for the summer. Saturday I ran some errands on bike (I'll detail this a bit in another entry), then went to see a Jake's dance performance, which was great. Sunday was a lazy day in anticipation of the week to come.

Today I'm back in work-all-day mode. Still at work (have been since 8am), but not for too much longer. Then I'm meeting a friend to run and eat Taco Bell and plan for a summer camp we're working this summer. I work all day every day this week, Wednesday aside- I have a doctor's appointment and so will only work a half day. My evenings are looking pretty full as well; meetings, errands, running and a little time with friends (including one last time with that friend before he relocates to another continent for three months). It will be busy, but I'm ok with that right now. I'm still processing some things I began to address on Thursday night, but my head is slightly clearer and I a bit more rested.

Summer Plans

My semester is done! So begins the 9-5 life (some days it is more like 8-8, ugh). But this work schedule is merely temporary- it won't last forever. Summer is just around the bend. Once summer really kicks off in a couple weeks, here's what I've got to look forward to:

-I was awarded a full-time (40 hrs/wk) independent study grant from Augsburg's Undergraduate Research and Graduate Opportunities program. This begins at the end of May. I will be working with a fantastic professor in the English department as my main advisor, with some advising assistance from several professors in the Religion department. My study will be on the works of Flannery O'Connor- my favorite author.
-Working for two summer camps, each a week long, for a second year: the Summer Theological Institute and Medieval Minnesota camp. Both are hosted on campus.
-Orientation Leader for incoming first year students!
-Scattered hours working at Admissions, tutoring, etc.
-???: I'd like to find something else to do with my random free time (although, as you can see, my plate'll be pretty full). Any suggestions?

As I said- my independent study doesn't begin until the end of May, so for now I'll be working full time at a couple jobs. I'm not really the 9-5 type (I like to have my attention diverted by divvying up my day into many different things), so it'll be pretty boring, but my coworkers are fun and I'll keep it entertaining somehow. Besides, its just a couple weeks. On that note, I'm at work right now and should get back to it...

Winding Down, Up

Well, the semester is coming to a close. After an intensive final today, only one final exam stands between me and 'summer'. Woah- summer already? Jeeze Louise!

It has been a stressful and busy semester, but it sure has had its highlights. Overall, I was fitter, happier, and more productive, ha. A great deal of good happened, and I accumulated a lot of memories I'll hold onto for some time. Of special note: the trip to El Salvador, the roadtrip to Michigan and Chicago, and the company I've kept. I have a lot to look forward to this summer. More on that later. For now, its time to say goodbye to my second-to-last semester of college-

Ah, I suppose this reflection is just a bit premature. To that effect, time to go prep for one last final!

Weekend Recap

So, studying aside, what did I do this weekend? Friday night I went with a few friends to walk around Uptown after hitting up the year-end picnics for the History and Political Science Departments (I'm employed by both) and packed up some stuff in my dorm. The following evening I went to a discounted movie, attended a raggaeton dance (which was a blast), and sat under a wind turbine and looked into the night sky. This afternoon my boss had myself and my co-worker over for an authentic Mexican dinner, after which I ran and studied for the final I have tomorrow. All in all, it was a good balance and a nice way to recuperate after one of the busier weeks of recent memory.

Reflections on Salvador

As the semester is coming to a close, El Salvador is hanging around like a spurned lover, demanding that I give it more attention. I feel I never really went into depth about my experiences there on this blog. Well, that isn't exactly going to change- but I will reflect on one specific incident for a minute, anyway.

In life, we encounter situations (often of a religious nature) in which no word seems appropriate to describe our corresponding emotional response. I had several such moments in El Salvador. For the sake of this footnote, I will focus in on one incident that left me groping for a descriptor. When I finally reached one, it didn’t feel totally authentic, but it was as close as I could get: the incident left me “floored”.

It was our first full day in El Salvador. To say that I was not adequately emotionally prepared would be an understatement—I had no idea what to expect, I was in unfamiliar territory and out of my element (both literally and figuratively), and I was already feeling a bit homesick for Minnesota. It was a long, hot day—it might have been the hottest day of the entire trip—and I was soaked in sweat, uncomfortable, and feeling more than a little groggy after only having slept four hours in the last two days. In less words: I wasn’t fully open to learning about something as heavy as the martyrdom of Monsignor Oscar Romero. Yet as often happens when one closes oneself off, I was fully hit with truth anyway.

I began to feel “emotional” in the churches we visited downtown (I hate using such phrasing; are we not “emotional” all the time, since emotions range from extremes to neutral feelings? In this case, I mean it in the common contemporary usage.) I have been in a bit of a dry spell religiously as of late (this trip did not resolve that—I do not get emotionally bullied back into belief like I used to—although it certainly got me seriously thinking about religious belief again and actively weighing my options), and I was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to believe in something. I would’ve been satisfied with anything at that point. My sentimentality craved the comfort (and discomfort) of belief and wanted such accompaniment for the experiences ahead. The feeling tagged along to Romero’s tomb and watched as a man approached the tomb and disrespected it in a saliva-utilizing gesture, and by the time we reached the chapel in which he was shot, the nagging had crescendoed into full, sweeping emotion. I was being set up for what was to follow.

Inside the chapel, we were told the story of Romero’s assassination. I must have missed this detail before, but the women telling the story informed us that Romero’s final words in the homily delivered before he was killed were pulled from John 12:24 (she didn’t actually identify it as such, but I recognized the words immediately). This verse is that which is tattooed on my right calf along side an image of a stalk of wheat. The verse reads: “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds” (NIV). Romero said this because he knew his fate; I tattooed it on my body in a superficial, superfluous decision to emulate what I saw as my religious beliefs in ink. In choosing a verse that I found literarily beautiful but devoid of real meaning, I unintentionally set myself up for this situation two year down the road. We moved from the chapel, where I lingered behind for a moment in solitude, to the house that Romero lived in, where I took a photograph of my versed leg beside his bed.

So I was “floored”. The incident stuck with me through the rest of the trip, forcing me to think and relate in a new, entirely more personal context. It made me a more genuine, open learner. And yes, it made me contemplate my place in the religious world. I can affirm few things religiously (for example: I believe, but in what? I’m good at making broad, easy claims; but when it comes to the details, I’m lost.), but I’m working on it. The unrelenting faith of Oscar Romero and the people of El Salvador in the face of such spiritually destructive acts is awing, and as cliché as it sounds, inspiring. It is scary to make claims of a religious nature, but we’re better for it. I myself am still trying.

Now: back to homework and all that. I'm severely overwhelmed, so I needed a break to think back to better times, I guess.

Missin' Franken

So I had to work a long shift today at work and missed a speech by former SNL-er, infamous satirist and leading DFL 2008 Senatorial candidate for Minnesota Al Franken. Bah- I'm bummed!

I'm sure it was swell. He's a funny (and intelligent) guy. Hope those who went enjoyed it.

Library Livin', Homework Hatin'

Woah. Last week of classes. I'm not waving, but drowning in papers and studying. But I'll keep my head above water for just a bit longer- despite being busy, I'm actually feeling fine. As Mr. E sings, "G-D right, its a beautiful day!"

For the next week I'll just keep singing along to another good Eels tune: "Somebody loves you, and you're gonna make it through..." -ha.

The Threepenny Opera

As I mentioned before, I saw the Augsburg Theater Department's production of The Threepenny Opera this weekend and I have to say I was immensely impressed!

I'm not really a big musical fan, but I was engaged and entertained the entire time. The production was stellar- great set, costumes, acting and singing. It was also a lot of fun to see all of these people I know getting into character and putting their all into their performance. Good work, folks!

Always Workin' for the Weekend

Sorry for the delay! Life has kept me pretty busy-

I had one last go at a fun weekend before the semester comes to a close, and I really did have a great time.

Thursday evening I went to a ballet at the Guthrie with Jake and friends- not exactly my thing, but I enjoyed myself more than I would have expected. I do appreciate the opportunity to explore new frontiers, interest-wise.

Friday I worked and had classes, after which I went to Northfield to pick up Jake. We came back up to the Cities for my birthday party, which was an absolute blast.

This weekend I also hit the local eatery The Seward Cafe, poked around Uptown (I could spend hours browsing Cheapo), helped a friend with her photography assignment (she had to shoot Mountain Dew ads- she won!), attended Augsburg's production of The Threepenny Opera (more on that later), enjoyed the beautiful weather, and perused IKEA for ideas for my impending move.

All in all, a busy but fulfilling weekend. Now Spring has returned, weather-wise, and I'm feeling mighty fine! Only two weeks of class to go though, and I'm feeling it. Busy is the name of the game, and I can't help but imagine I'm losing. Ah well- power through it, as they say.

Snow?

ps- Snowstorm? In mid-April? This is not exactly helping things-

Pedalers for Peace

Oh, it is that time of year-
I'm living in the library tonight. Literally camped out for hours on end, as it is my night off from work. Ugh.

I am taking a break very shortly though to attend the Pedalers for Peace documentary that several of my good friends are in; it follows the bike trip of Augsburg students through Mississippi and Louisiana over spring break to raise awareness for environmental issues and peace. I'm excited to watch what is sure to be an engaging and enlightening film on an important event.

But until then- I need to at least pretend like I'm making progress on this impossibly difficult research paper.

Easter Weekend

So, as promised, here is a recounting of my fun-filled Easter weekend:

Jake came up on Thursday and we hung out after I got off work. Friday morning we woke up and went to my house for free lunch and board games with the family, after which we went to the Como Conservatory and saw the new expansion. Saturday he went home, and I followed suit. That day I did multiple laundry loads, ran, kept my recently wisdom-teeth-less younger brother company, did some homework, and went to a family Easter dinner. Sunday: After an early morning of a run, church and breakfast, I met up with Jake again and we joined some of my extended family for another Easter dinner, after which we went to an overnight Easter-egg-hung/bonfire in Hudson right on the river with friends. Fun was had by all.

Then it was Monday, and I was hit with the realization that I had mostly ignored my responsibilities over the weekend- so I paid the price on my birthday, but it was worth it. All in all one of the best weekends in recent memory. Happy Easter, indeed.

Happy Birthday to me-

I forgot my birthday was coming up until someone reminded me the other day.

Today was just another day, though- classes, work, homework, run, etc. Birthdays stop being such a big deal eventually, it would seem.

I'm going out to dinner with a couple friends in a minute, though. That should be fun.

I'm coming off one of the best weekends I've had in ages (they just keep getting better, it seems). More on that later- my friends are here.

run run run

I just got done running. I love running. It is a stress reliever.

That is all I have to say, I guess. ha.

Michigan-minded

I got back late last night from my roadtrip-

I had an incredible time. I met some of my favorite musicians (Liz Janes and I had a lengthy conversation in which she declared me her new artistic inspiration and took a picture of me to use when she needed to be reminded of why she makes music!), saw still other favorites perform (Sufjan Stevens, Neko Case, Anathallo, Emmylou Harris, Son Lux, etc), hit the sand dune beaches of Michigan in 70degree (or, perfect) weather, became intimately familiar with the infrastructure of Grand Rapids and Holland, fled Michigan in the middle of the night to arrive in Chicago at 3am and crash in the nearest hotel room, spent a day in the Windy City hopping the L, and got to spend a lot of time (much of which was in my friend's hybrid) with some of my favorite folks around. I honestly can't remember the last time such fun was had.

Roadtrips are a college necessity. Go take one. A mental break, a literal/physical escape.

Now I'm swamped with school work and work work, but I would do it all over again in less time than it takes to drive to West Michigan.

Spring Break, One Week Late

Tomorrow I am leaving the state to attend the Festival of Faith & Music at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I am going to hear some of my favorite musicians perform, such as Sufjan Stevens, Neko Case and Anathallo, and attend the conference. My friends and I are driving out and will be there through Sunday.

I can't wait to get out of here-

What weather!

Wow! Did someone invent a weather time machine?

I'm digging it, even if it is only for today. Spring break is over, but it already feels like summer-

Spring Breakin'

I'm in the throes of spring break! What does this mean?

-work, work, work!

I'm at work all day today, all day tomorrow, all day Wednesday, part of the day Thursday, all day Friday, and Saturday morning.

But- I've also allotted time for fun. This past weekend I went out with friends to the Walker Art Center and then we went back to a friend's house for Pizza Luce and television. Saturday morning I worked, I ran in the afternoon and went to a party with a friend in the evening. Sunday morning we went on a walk and ate bananas and toast, after which I went shopping and went for a run. In the evening I hung out with a friend and called it a night early (1am) because I had to get up early this morning to run before work.

Now I am working on campus until 3:30, after which I go to my off campus job until 7:30. Immediately from there I'm going to see the Grinnell College choir perform (a friend from high school is in it) and make dinner with a friend (I'm house/dogsitting for a friend and since they have a nice kitchen, I plan to take full advantage of it!). Tomorrow night I am going out with friends for a birthday. Wednesday night I am meeting up with a friend for dinner, Thursday I'm doing the same (sort of), and Friday I might be going to Duluth. That's as far out as I've planned right now.

Well, now that you have enough intimate details to satisfy even the most rabid blog reader, I need to get back to work. Adios-

I witnessed Eyewitness News-

Today we toured local television station KSTP Channel 5 for my Journalism class. We went behind the scenes, met the anchors, saw the newsroom, and learned about how a local television station operates. It was fun to see faces I've seen on a television screen or billboard "up-close-and-personal" (well- as personal as they got in the Q&A format, which isn't saying all that much). It was a nice break from the regularity of the classroom (just as our tour of KFAI radio was), and it even got me maybe thinking about broadcast journalism just a little bit...

sun fun

what a beautiful couple of days
I spend a lot of them inside but am always in search of ways
to go out, and I find them
on the way to work
between classes
ah, I'm feeling fine
sprung on spring
and many a good thing
busy busy
as can be
but hell, even that can't bother me-

college yum

eating poptarts past midnight
northfield nights by computer light
working on homework
(well, between extended stays of distracted play)
sorry these blogs have been so pointless lately,
readers:
I'll be back with real updates once this weekend is through-

saturday in the library

yawn-
I've been here too long

studying books and books on books and looks
original sin
I don't know where to begin-

too much studying is drying my brains
will make good trail mix for professors some day.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzSTUDY!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzNOW!
zzzzzzzzzKEEPzzzzzzzzGOINGzzzzz
zzzzzALMOSTzzzzzzzzzTHROUGHzzzz
zzzzzzHAzzzzzzzRIGHT-zzzzzzzzzz
zzzIFzzzzzzONLYzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzALWAYSzzzzzzzzzMOREzzzzz
zzzTHATzzzzISzzzzWHATzzzzzzzzzz
zzzCOLLEGEzzzISzzzzGOODzzzzFORz

been studying all night-

the sun was very nice when it finally came out today. oh boy, I cannot wait for spring.

busy week. midterms! ahhhhhhhhomework!

I can't wait for the weekend, always workin' for the weekend, a little downtime to relax inbetween papers and research proposals.

oh yeah, I covered a concert on for the paper on tuesday and interviewed some bands. it was a blast. my article will follow-

A look back on College Dems-

It has been quite the busy year for us in the Augsburg College Democrats! I was not heavily involved last year, but with the excitement of an impending midterm election (and a growing sense of social responsibility fostered in my education) I jumped in head first and joined up to serve as the Secretary and a member of the executive board.

To raise voter awareness and increase turn out on Election Day, we organized a flurry of activities in the weeks preceding the election, including tabling in the Christensen Center, movie and pizza nights, and a voter registration concert featuring three on-campus bands who volunteered their services to open up for the main act. To headline the show, we scored award-winning local band The Alarmists, who played an electrifying and crowd-pleasing show.

We also brought in the now-elected candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives in our district, Keith Ellison, on campus as he was running his campaign to speak and answer student's questions in a lunch forum. On Election Day, we took scores of students over to the polls and celebrated our hard work and electoral successes as the results came in at the end of the day.

Our efforts have slowed down considerably following the election due to busy schedules, but we are working to remain a visible presence on campus and will continue to do so throughout the year. After all, a victory in politics is never a sure thing, and even when we have won, it doesn't stay that way for long unless we continue to work for what is right.

buried alive!

My life has been buried beneath a snow drift.

I think I need to invest in a pair of boots. These chucks just aren't cutting it-

Gee, I wish I could bypass this "in like a lion" business and get on to the "out like a lamb".

ugh-

and that, friends, is why I don't stay up until 3am. I'm exhausted.

Ah well, lets go for a run and wake up. Today's a busy day-

little mister cloudcast

little mister cloudcast
a jokey little freestyle poem on my day thus far-

The weather today

had me in a bit of a state

it wasn't good, it wasn't great

-it was a gray kind of day

no gay kind of day

a day of full of ho hum

-the weather had me feeling mighty glum.

grizzly grays

every shade of gray imaginable

-and still more
gray in store
gloom got me bored

unimaginable gray horror

blah/blah/blah

my emotions parabola-ed

high to low

next emotion unknown
where next will I go?

could it be

S.A.D.?

maybe-

it had me sad

but not that sad-
that shit is bad.

but then I thought

this is all for naught

because I've got

a lot,

to be thankful for

and I stepped out that door

into the cold

(feeling a bit bold)

and in no long while

I smiled

breathing in crisp air

seeing snow everywhere

and splashing in water

no more emotional teeter-totter

no reason to be down

with all of this beauty around

ah, another cliched end

thinking on a special friend.

(again, a disclaimer: this is no measure of my writing abilities. just a fun freestyle.)

Monday, February 26, 2007

I parked a borrowed car in front of a fire hydrant today. (I didn't notice it because of the snow. But by the end of the day, much had melted away.)

I talked with someone formerly of the band DeVotchKa today. (They scored all the music for "Little Miss Sunshine".)

It was a day.

Mid-Semester Slump? Well, Sorta-

So I've been going through the motions all week. We're nearing halfway through the semester (already?) and I am discovering that each new day increasingly resembles the last. Same stuff every day: classes, work, running, homework, blahblahblah-

Funny thing is: I'm surprised to find that I don't mind. Life is fine, and I'm satisfied.

Another day, and that's okay-

Last night was a little intense, unnecessarily so. I'm just dealing with some family stuff that isn't exactly pleasant (death, estrangement- but hey, we've all got strange family situations, don't we?), plus the always interesting dynamics of this whole "long-distance" (I use that term cautiously) thing. But I'm feeling great today, just all-around satisfied, so that is good.

This week looks to be very, VERY busy: a friend's birthday tonight, another friend's birthday tomorrow night, work and such on Thursday night, and Friday-Sunday I will be with a friend both here in town and out of town. Aside from all this, I have all the usual suspects: a great deal of homework, classes and work shifts during the day, meetings filling every spare space, and this exciting, albeit time-consuming, project that I'm working on (more on that in a later post). In any case, just a quick check in- I'm at work so I must be off again!

Spring Preview

Wow, was today ever beautiful. The weather matched my improving health, and I couldn't have been happier about it. I know winter will be back soon enough, though. But for now, I'll revel in this revelatory weather-

Lazy Sunday

I've had a good weekend-- I went to dinner at a friend's parent's house on Friday night, saw my family and visited my brothers at a church event during the day on Saturday, attended a friend's birthday festivities last night, and have so far spent my Sunday in a relatively laid back mode, complete with the viewing of nature programming and a refreshing run. Now I'm off to catch dinner with a couple friends and commit the evening to homework. This is one of those days that makes me realize how lucky I am to have the occasional casual day--or weekend? Yeah, I probably put too much on the metaphorical back burner and will pay the price this week. Ah well, there are several kinds of priorities, eh?

KFAI

Today in my Journalism class we visited community radio station KFAI, an award-winning, long-standing radio station that places a great emphasis on community awareness and education through local and international news, music and programming. It was very interesting to get a private tour and learn about their mission and successes and struggles. I had been to the studio once before when I was a guest on a show, but it was cool to get an insider's view and to speak with two people who help make the station run. Just blocks from Augsburg, this station has a legacy and has earned its reputation the hard way. Bottom line: they're great, and I personally enjoy listening to them and would love to be involved in their work someday (and just might apply to work there eventually-- I do have an interest in broadcast journalism, so who knows?) To learn more or listen online, visit their website.

fighting illness, finding home-- back in the act in my natual habitat.

Hm, an interesting weekend. I went to visit a friend at St. Olaf College, the only other college I even considered during my college application process. I had been there before, but this weekend I got a real insider's view. Wow, is it different there.

People at St. Olaf kid that their school is like Hogwarts. They shouldn't joke-- it really is. It is beautiful in every way; the scope of the facilities is monstrously intimidating (sauna? post-modern art building that resembles the most expensive of downtown lofts? one of the top-ranked food services in the nation? do I need to go on?); it is elevated out of the city of Northfield upon a towering hill; the buildings are archaic and grandiose; the student body is charming and intelligent. Sound perfect?

In a way, it is. It is the archetypal college campus. It is everything a college should be. I really like it there, and not just because the person I'm seeing attends the school. And yet--

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I made the right choice when deciding where to enroll. Yes, I can affirm that there are certain things about St. Olaf that, on the surface, may seem more appealing than Augsburg. But I know that it just isn't for me. I couldn't live in a college town, isolated on a hill, separated from the rest of the world. I need to feel as if I am a part of full community, not just a community of people I go to class with. I need a real worldview, not a seclusionist and haughty (but pretty) life. I'm not trying to bring down St. Olaf; it is a wonderful institution with many, many great qualities. They do engage their community in what ways they can. They are equally valid as an institution of higher education. But Augsburg is my home, and I could be nowhere else. I am Augsburg. My flaws are Augsburg's. It's flaws, mine.

Speaking of flaws-- my illness got better for a bit, then took a significant turn in the opposite direction. My temperature soared to 103°F yesterday. I've been battling chills, aches and a killer sore throat and head. I called in sick to work today, something I never do. I need sleep, but I have a large research paper due tomorrow. AHCK! Frankly, it has been a terrible day, full of emotional highs and lows, uncertainties, heady conversations, feeling crummy, and homework homework homework. Ah well-- it will all come together somehow. It always does. And I'm trying to maintain (or at least feign) a positive attitude. After all--I'm home.

To live with a hardened heart, or let it break anew daily--

I'm at work, and less than an hour ago a homeless man walked in off the street, as sometimes happens in the neighborhood in which my work is located. The man was visibly drunk. He "wanted to warm his shoes," and so he entered and took a seat in our lobby. My boss and the man exchanged words. "This is a music school, not a social service agency." There are kids here waiting for lessons. The man hadn't showered for days, weeks, months. He smelled of cold and liquor, a wanderer seeking refuge but what could I do? He wanted some money, we gave it, and he was on his way. It is so cold outside, so terribly bitter and unforgiving. But what could I do?

This is why I can't do social work. It was my major, but I dropped it. I just don't think I'm resilient enough.

Still Sick

Ugh-- this cold is a pain. But, I've been drinking so much water and resting up a bit so we'll see. I have a huge paper due next week and am going out of town Thursday night, so I'm really hoping to shake this cold off as soon as possible.

It's been a very full day, so I imagine the best thing for me will be to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight. I'll try, but knowing me, that might not happen...

under the weather; over this weather

I am sick, "under the weather." So I've been drinking what quite possibly totals to gallons of water to try to rid myself of it.

Also, this subzero (literally) weather is on my last nerve. I need to invest in a new, heavy winter coat, stat.

Otherwise, I'm doing fine. A lot of homework, a wandering mind-- but I'll do just fine.

Somewhere south of stressed, something like satisfied---

I just had one of the best weeks I've had in-- I can't even recall the last time I had such fun. But now I'm significantly behind on my homework. The price you pay, I guess.

I've been working for a while here and made a dent or two in my workload, and am now off to an editor's meeting for the school newspaper (The Echo), after which I will return to my studies. Good times require certain sacrifices, I suppose...

Cindy Sheehan

Nobel Peace Prize nominee and international figurehead Cindy Sheehan spoke on campus on Tuesday. I did not know what to expect, but I was absolutely blown away. She was funny, passionate, articulate, and on a mission.

She spoke at a convocation that was a part of Augsburg's "Many Voices," a series of lectures. Hers was titled "One Person Can Make a Difference," and she really proved that. She spoke on matters of contemporary political and personal concern, and talked about her religious beliefs and how those impact her work as a peace and social justice advocate.

Also, on an entirely different note: last night I saw the film Pan's Labyrinth. I would HIGHLY recommend this provocative film to anyone.

Long Day, Good Day

A full day,
all work, no play,
but hey--
that's ok.

And now that I got THAT out of my system, ha...

I'm in a pretty chipper mood. A friend is coming to visit for the week tomorrow. As a result, I'm trying to get as much work done as I can before he comes. I still have a bit left to do:

So tonight
just might
be a late night,
but thats alright.

I promise my "real" writing is not this bad. You'll just have to take my word(s) for it (pun intended).

Well, I'm at work, so I oughta shoo-- catch you later!

Sunday Afternoon

Feeling rested and fine on a Sunday afternoon. I had a good weekend after a week of 9am-midnight days. Friday I went with friends to the All-Night Party hosted by ASAC (Augsburg Student Activities), which was circus-themed and consisted of free food and events.

Saturday I had a class at Luther Seminary for the Lilly Scholar Seminar I'm involved in, then I went running. In the evening, a few friends and I went to a musical created by an on-campus, student-created theater group, which was enjoyable. After that, we went to a friend's birthday party and hung out. Today has been very low-key so far; I've taken care of a couple things, done some relaxing/sitting around, went running, and now I'm off to do some homework and go to a follow-up class for my trip to El Salvador.

This week looks to be busy, but I'm so excited for some cool things that will be going on-- it seems I'm always caught between reflection, in-the-moment, and anticipation (and aren't we all? It is a basic definition of existence). It's a good place to be.

Man Overboard!

Boy, it has been quite the week. I have been so busy. If the semester continues at this pace, I will need to figure out new ways of prioritizing, and quick! Speaking of which-- gotta run!

A life that is full, in many senses.

I'm working at my new job (today is only my third day) at the moment: a non-profit, community-minded music school. It has proved enjoyable thus far.

Even though it is Monday, I'm still stuck on the weekend. It (this weekend) was intense for a number of reasons. There were a couple bumps (albeit funny and ironic in retrospect--well, even somewhat so at the time if I'm to be honest) along the way but by the end it revealed itself as one of the best weekends in memory. I spent time with friends (one in particular who came for a visit) and lived life fully, doing everything and doing nothing. I explored the city and laid in bed, laughed and ran and almost cried. There is no other acceptable way to describe it: it was very close to perfect. OK. I think I've divulged enough in this public forum. Just know that it was great.

I am in a "good place" right now. I've been working to make some positive changes lately and the dividends are quickly becoming apparent. I feel much more rested and satisfied in general, and hell--you could even say there is a bounce in my step as of late. I don't know if that is actually physically the case, but the sentiment holds true anyway.

Today I've actually felt a bit off for a couple of reasons: because of a time-consuming situation I'm unexpectedly having to deal with, and because every free moment has been filled with meetings, classes and work. But if I take a step back and really look at my life--right in the eye, so to say--I cannot justify feeling sorry for myself in any way, even with this new complication and a full schedule. I have a great deal to be happy about, and damn if I'm not going to make good on that feeling!

Yes sir, I am happy. And I'm going to make the most of that feeling, using it as fuel during what might otherwise be one of the most stressful weeks on record. Now if that isn't a full life, a life fully lived...

Photoblog: El Salvador II

Photoblog: El Salvador I

Still Processing

Man, I don't even know what to say about El Salvador still. I'll post some pictures soon for inspiration.

Today was my first day of the new semester. It went really well! I'm looking forward to seeing where these classes go-- they seem as if they will be really great. Also, I started a new off campus work study job today at a non-profit, community music school. Combined with a couple other things, today (well, yesterday now I guess) was a fantastic day. I've just been on "cloud nine" lately. I hope that feeling sticks around a bit longer, heh...

Woah.

Just got back from El Salvador yesterday. Much to report. I'm crazy busy with preparation for the new semester (it begins tomorrow), but I'll report ASAP.