The Guy with the Red Hightops

Walking through the neighborhood near work today, I was stopped by a man asking for change. I did not have any on me, but I stopped and talked to him for a while. We talked about music (he likes U2 and Elvis Costello), among other things. At our conversation's end, he admitted that he'd seen me around the neighborhood before. He identified me by my bright red converse hightop shoes. That conversation was my day's highlight.

Sing-a-long

I'm doing so well. Yeah, I've taken a few steps backward, but that is how it always goes, no? Cliches (needs an accent) exist for a reason--they have a historical-social tradition of truth. I'd say the one about "two steps forward, one step back" holds a great deal of truth in it, for me anyway.

And yet...

My mom used to love the song from one of those stop motion kiddie Christmas flicks... was it the one about the Abominable Snowman? No, I think it was "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Ah well. The song is what matters. I'm sure you've heard it. Or perhaps I'm just influenced by its significance in my own life in my thought that it is well known. And it goes a little something like this: "put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin' cross the floor. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walkin' out the door!"

You know what? I think I like that one better. Optimism prevails.

Sure, I've gotten a little turned around, a time or two... but all in all, I'm headed toward that door.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=CSSuGYVRDLk
(ps. I am not one of those people. ha.)

impermanence in the evening

life and death is the great matter.
impermanence is swift.
strive to awaken to this matter wholeheartedly.
do not waste time!

zen evening gatha (short chant)

4/5

Why hasn't anyone pointed out that my blog titles get so ridiculously cheesy? That last one, although the rhymes and wordplays are intended to be tongue-in-cheek, was egregiously cringe-worthy.

Anyway. It's Thursday. Which means tomorrow is Friday! Ah (note that one more "h" would've made an "ahh" of relaxation, where as "ah" as it stands is simply a vocal inflection), my weeks are so busy! I have stuff basically from 9am-9pm every day. Living off campus and bike commuting, that means quite the early wake up time! And I have trouble going to sleep before 2am these days, so... I'm tired. But all in all the week has improved as it has gone on, and I feel pretty fine right now.

I take it back. Anytime I make a statement like that, it comes back to bite me in the butt. So, I am how I am. No expectations, no labels, no claims.

One claim I am comfortable making, however, is that of hunger. And there is a picnic coming up (cloudy skies, stay tied!) in a few minutes here (after which I have meetings and homework galore!) for the Social Work department, so I'm off.

What a Sight! An Urbanite by Night, Seeing the Light

I just got in on my bike. I'm glad to have it back after it's stint in broken-bicycle village last week. Riding through the city at night is thrilling; with little to no traffic to inhibit the flow of my ride, it emanates emptiness (in the philosophical sense). The hollow city blocks and darkened buildings construct a ghost town on a grander scale. Only the night crawlers remain.

Through this I pedal, with swiftness and silence.

Pedal, pedal, pedal.. I keep moving forward. I'm learning so much outside the classroom these days, I'd say my course load is bigger than ever. What a kick, learning the life lessons I missed through much of college at the very last minute. I guess I've always been a procrastinator. After years of pedaling on a stationary bike, exasperating myself while getting nowhere, I'm freeing myself of the self-inflicted training wheels that have long kept me from really balancing on my own. Oh, tired metaphor! I'm working to rise above my limitations, which results in a great deal of temporary floundering below. But in this I'm finally extending my consciousness, understanding why I do the things I do. Realizing my neuroses is hard work and actualizing positives proactively is even tougher, but every pedal gets me a little closer to home.

I had much more to say, but sleepiness is having it's way. The moral: I'm in good spirits after a therapeutic cycle, and optimistic about the direction I'm headed (metaphorically speaking, although my bicycle is usually headed in a fine direction as well). Ask me again tomorrow and I may have a different tale to tell, but this is where I'm at right now and, well... I'm just glad to be here.

Up, down, up, down... aye aye aye!

I've been doing a lot of "self" work, and it has resulted in a range of emotions. One minute I am on top of the world, feeling enthralled with my progress and excited for the future. Other times that satisfaction manifests in the serene and I am wholly in the moment (this, perhaps, is the ideal state). And other times (all too often for my tastes, I'm afraid) I become so frustrated at what I see as a lack of progress and feel a bit helpless that I splinter. Ultimately, though, I'm moving forward, even if it is two steps ahead, one step backward... or a sprint followed by an enormous faceplant into the mud... or, perhaps, a stumble followed by a humble stride. In any case, I'm doing it. Trying is doing. And best of all, I see a horizon, something to keep rising for.

Exploding Baby Carrots

This weekend was fantastic. I traveled to the upper half of the state, to a cabin northwest of Two Harbors (along the Lake Superior shore). I went with five friends. It was a wonderful reprieve-- we played games around a campfire and blew up baby carrots with sticks of mini dynamite.

The week leading up to this escape was incredibly full; I had very little downtime and will probably pay the price for not doing (much) homework all weekend, but I wouldn't even consider pressing rewind.

Isn't this the first weekend of the new semester?

This has not been the most fun weekend of recent memory. The stereotype is such that I almost expected this weekend to be one big party. Instead I dogsat, alone, on Friday night (technically I chose to do it alone instead of bringing friends in on it, but still), hung out with friends for a bit on Friday afternoon and Saturday night (including a couple party stops)... but otherwise I have mostly sat around, making poor use of my time. I've accomplished nothing. I have books I wanted to read; why haven't I read them? I've been sick, but that isn't much of an excuse. Isn't it funny how feeling sorry for yourself presents you from improving the situation? Ah well.

In brighter news, my new job at The Bridge is a REAL job. I suppose it is about time I got one of those, seeing as I'm just months away from the "real world". In any case, I have my own office, phone number, e-mail address, and already three story assignments!

This week will be busy. Maybe I should've been better about enjoying my downtime while I have it.

Senior Slump? Naw.

Well, it is the beginning of another semester.

This semester has an unusual flavor, though. It is my last. Wow.

How did I come to this point so quickly? Twice today I was told how much older I look by people who have "tracked" me over the course of my time at Augsburg. One said I look like a senior in college. Huh.

The semester has gotten off to an especially full start-- I was delayed in my time in the northern half of the state because the ride I had arranged was significantly delayed; I've been fighting off a killer cold; I had some issues with rent at my apartment; a friend is staying with me and is having major car problems; all that I missed while out of town must now be made up for; my leadership roles are requiring a lot of me; and my classes (so far-- granted, I've only had two as of yet) are challenging. I think I'll manage to pull it off, but we'll see.

I start my new job in a half hour. That's pretty exciting. Guess I'd better head out.

It's good to be back.