ugh-

and that, friends, is why I don't stay up until 3am. I'm exhausted.

Ah well, lets go for a run and wake up. Today's a busy day-

little mister cloudcast

little mister cloudcast
a jokey little freestyle poem on my day thus far-

The weather today

had me in a bit of a state

it wasn't good, it wasn't great

-it was a gray kind of day

no gay kind of day

a day of full of ho hum

-the weather had me feeling mighty glum.

grizzly grays

every shade of gray imaginable

-and still more
gray in store
gloom got me bored

unimaginable gray horror

blah/blah/blah

my emotions parabola-ed

high to low

next emotion unknown
where next will I go?

could it be

S.A.D.?

maybe-

it had me sad

but not that sad-
that shit is bad.

but then I thought

this is all for naught

because I've got

a lot,

to be thankful for

and I stepped out that door

into the cold

(feeling a bit bold)

and in no long while

I smiled

breathing in crisp air

seeing snow everywhere

and splashing in water

no more emotional teeter-totter

no reason to be down

with all of this beauty around

ah, another cliched end

thinking on a special friend.

(again, a disclaimer: this is no measure of my writing abilities. just a fun freestyle.)

Monday, February 26, 2007

I parked a borrowed car in front of a fire hydrant today. (I didn't notice it because of the snow. But by the end of the day, much had melted away.)

I talked with someone formerly of the band DeVotchKa today. (They scored all the music for "Little Miss Sunshine".)

It was a day.

Mid-Semester Slump? Well, Sorta-

So I've been going through the motions all week. We're nearing halfway through the semester (already?) and I am discovering that each new day increasingly resembles the last. Same stuff every day: classes, work, running, homework, blahblahblah-

Funny thing is: I'm surprised to find that I don't mind. Life is fine, and I'm satisfied.

Another day, and that's okay-

Last night was a little intense, unnecessarily so. I'm just dealing with some family stuff that isn't exactly pleasant (death, estrangement- but hey, we've all got strange family situations, don't we?), plus the always interesting dynamics of this whole "long-distance" (I use that term cautiously) thing. But I'm feeling great today, just all-around satisfied, so that is good.

This week looks to be very, VERY busy: a friend's birthday tonight, another friend's birthday tomorrow night, work and such on Thursday night, and Friday-Sunday I will be with a friend both here in town and out of town. Aside from all this, I have all the usual suspects: a great deal of homework, classes and work shifts during the day, meetings filling every spare space, and this exciting, albeit time-consuming, project that I'm working on (more on that in a later post). In any case, just a quick check in- I'm at work so I must be off again!

Spring Preview

Wow, was today ever beautiful. The weather matched my improving health, and I couldn't have been happier about it. I know winter will be back soon enough, though. But for now, I'll revel in this revelatory weather-

Lazy Sunday

I've had a good weekend-- I went to dinner at a friend's parent's house on Friday night, saw my family and visited my brothers at a church event during the day on Saturday, attended a friend's birthday festivities last night, and have so far spent my Sunday in a relatively laid back mode, complete with the viewing of nature programming and a refreshing run. Now I'm off to catch dinner with a couple friends and commit the evening to homework. This is one of those days that makes me realize how lucky I am to have the occasional casual day--or weekend? Yeah, I probably put too much on the metaphorical back burner and will pay the price this week. Ah well, there are several kinds of priorities, eh?

KFAI

Today in my Journalism class we visited community radio station KFAI, an award-winning, long-standing radio station that places a great emphasis on community awareness and education through local and international news, music and programming. It was very interesting to get a private tour and learn about their mission and successes and struggles. I had been to the studio once before when I was a guest on a show, but it was cool to get an insider's view and to speak with two people who help make the station run. Just blocks from Augsburg, this station has a legacy and has earned its reputation the hard way. Bottom line: they're great, and I personally enjoy listening to them and would love to be involved in their work someday (and just might apply to work there eventually-- I do have an interest in broadcast journalism, so who knows?) To learn more or listen online, visit their website.

fighting illness, finding home-- back in the act in my natual habitat.

Hm, an interesting weekend. I went to visit a friend at St. Olaf College, the only other college I even considered during my college application process. I had been there before, but this weekend I got a real insider's view. Wow, is it different there.

People at St. Olaf kid that their school is like Hogwarts. They shouldn't joke-- it really is. It is beautiful in every way; the scope of the facilities is monstrously intimidating (sauna? post-modern art building that resembles the most expensive of downtown lofts? one of the top-ranked food services in the nation? do I need to go on?); it is elevated out of the city of Northfield upon a towering hill; the buildings are archaic and grandiose; the student body is charming and intelligent. Sound perfect?

In a way, it is. It is the archetypal college campus. It is everything a college should be. I really like it there, and not just because the person I'm seeing attends the school. And yet--

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I made the right choice when deciding where to enroll. Yes, I can affirm that there are certain things about St. Olaf that, on the surface, may seem more appealing than Augsburg. But I know that it just isn't for me. I couldn't live in a college town, isolated on a hill, separated from the rest of the world. I need to feel as if I am a part of full community, not just a community of people I go to class with. I need a real worldview, not a seclusionist and haughty (but pretty) life. I'm not trying to bring down St. Olaf; it is a wonderful institution with many, many great qualities. They do engage their community in what ways they can. They are equally valid as an institution of higher education. But Augsburg is my home, and I could be nowhere else. I am Augsburg. My flaws are Augsburg's. It's flaws, mine.

Speaking of flaws-- my illness got better for a bit, then took a significant turn in the opposite direction. My temperature soared to 103°F yesterday. I've been battling chills, aches and a killer sore throat and head. I called in sick to work today, something I never do. I need sleep, but I have a large research paper due tomorrow. AHCK! Frankly, it has been a terrible day, full of emotional highs and lows, uncertainties, heady conversations, feeling crummy, and homework homework homework. Ah well-- it will all come together somehow. It always does. And I'm trying to maintain (or at least feign) a positive attitude. After all--I'm home.

To live with a hardened heart, or let it break anew daily--

I'm at work, and less than an hour ago a homeless man walked in off the street, as sometimes happens in the neighborhood in which my work is located. The man was visibly drunk. He "wanted to warm his shoes," and so he entered and took a seat in our lobby. My boss and the man exchanged words. "This is a music school, not a social service agency." There are kids here waiting for lessons. The man hadn't showered for days, weeks, months. He smelled of cold and liquor, a wanderer seeking refuge but what could I do? He wanted some money, we gave it, and he was on his way. It is so cold outside, so terribly bitter and unforgiving. But what could I do?

This is why I can't do social work. It was my major, but I dropped it. I just don't think I'm resilient enough.

Still Sick

Ugh-- this cold is a pain. But, I've been drinking so much water and resting up a bit so we'll see. I have a huge paper due next week and am going out of town Thursday night, so I'm really hoping to shake this cold off as soon as possible.

It's been a very full day, so I imagine the best thing for me will be to go to bed at a reasonable time tonight. I'll try, but knowing me, that might not happen...

under the weather; over this weather

I am sick, "under the weather." So I've been drinking what quite possibly totals to gallons of water to try to rid myself of it.

Also, this subzero (literally) weather is on my last nerve. I need to invest in a new, heavy winter coat, stat.

Otherwise, I'm doing fine. A lot of homework, a wandering mind-- but I'll do just fine.

Somewhere south of stressed, something like satisfied---

I just had one of the best weeks I've had in-- I can't even recall the last time I had such fun. But now I'm significantly behind on my homework. The price you pay, I guess.

I've been working for a while here and made a dent or two in my workload, and am now off to an editor's meeting for the school newspaper (The Echo), after which I will return to my studies. Good times require certain sacrifices, I suppose...

Cindy Sheehan

Nobel Peace Prize nominee and international figurehead Cindy Sheehan spoke on campus on Tuesday. I did not know what to expect, but I was absolutely blown away. She was funny, passionate, articulate, and on a mission.

She spoke at a convocation that was a part of Augsburg's "Many Voices," a series of lectures. Hers was titled "One Person Can Make a Difference," and she really proved that. She spoke on matters of contemporary political and personal concern, and talked about her religious beliefs and how those impact her work as a peace and social justice advocate.

Also, on an entirely different note: last night I saw the film Pan's Labyrinth. I would HIGHLY recommend this provocative film to anyone.